broken and blessed

then Jesus blessed the bread and then broke it . . . I go to Mass a few times a week and I alway cross myself at that moment–do this in remembrance of me . . . I cross myself again.  Some days I wish I could just stop Mass at that moment until I felt like I understood it–I want to understand the mystery!  or at least be able to reflect on that moment.  Jesus how do I eucharisto?

Today is 12/12/12.  The last time in my life that I will ever see a sequence of numbers like this.  I want to celebrate–so I have decided that I will begin living a life of counting my blessings.  I’ve sort of already started–my 11-year-old gave me a jump-start!

I was cooking in the kitchen–working hard to make a phenomenal Sunday dinner–it was a special birthday dinner . . . I was taking extra care in ever detail when I saw the blue soccer  ball fly through the air–I covered my head thinking it would knock over one of the 3  hot pots on the stove or knock over a gravy boat filled too high or smash the yeast rolls . . . then I heard the clang and the crash.

The blue soccer ball hit the ceiling, landed on the top of the fridge and rolled onto ALL of my Christmas cups–the ones I have been collecting for 20 years!  I knew from the sound that there was breakage.

one of my collection (this is the mug–but it really fell into the other mug and then onto the floor . . .)

My son acted as if were no big deal–just one cup broke–“and the cup isn’t even broken just the handle!”  I went from 0 to 60 a couple of times until I was well into warp speed!

It wasn’t about the cup–well, it sort of was–I was mad!

• it wasn’t the best time to break a cup
• the cup broke all over the other cups requiring lots of washing (because after such a big dinner the dishwasher would be full)
• I remembered the day I bought that particular cup
• his attitude was horrible
• I have said a million times “no balls in the kitchen”–I do allow dribbling/foot skills in the house–but NOT in the kitchen and no kicking again walls
• I was trying to get dinner on the table, in the dining room, on the second Sunday of Lent, for a birthday dinner AND I wanted everything to be PERFECT.

the blue soccer ball that normally lives in the dining room

In the brokenness of the cup I am blessed.  I am blessed that I have a wonderful son.  Who has legs to play soccer.  I remind myself that I prayed for this son.  Who can teach me the meaning of abundance.  I am so incredibly blessed.

In that moment of cleaning the mess of the blue soccer ball and the holly Christmas mug–I found the meaning of my life.

• I live abundantly–I have everything I need.  I have more cups than I could ever want! (the loaves and fishes story)
• I give thanks, in everything.
• I found that anger doesn’t get me where I want to be–I want to seek joy!
• I serve God by serving my family JOYFULLY.  When I fail at that I fail at serving God–when my intention moves towards perfection it moves from God.  When I do things for God, then it becomes perfect.
• May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.  Romans 15:13.
• I still think balls should stay OUT of the kitchen!

So on this day of 12/12/12 I want to my life to move forward with intention, joyfulness, purpose, and most of all trust that when I give thanks, in everything–God will be at the end of my prayer.  God is my safety net!  I want to practice intentional gratitude–not just on sunny days when my life seems perfect–but on my hardest days.  I know God has been with me on my darkest days.

that dang blue soccer ball–this is where the ball hides so it won’t be kicked, break dishes and then banished to the garage!  (and no I didn’t clean before I took this pictures–this is a real blog, with real pictures of a real house)

I am broken and blessed.  I thank God each day for my blessings.  I have an awesome house vs. my Ford Escort that I lived in–with two dogs and a cat!  I have these incredible children and a wonderful husband who love me–for me.  I look at everything as a gift to be treasured, respected and honored.

My life is a joy!  hard at moments, I lose my temper, I feel emotions other than love, peace and joy, but more and more those negative emotions are fleeting and I find myself seeking joy, grace and giving thanks, in everything.  I chose to be joyful, loving, kind, respectful, and thankful in everything I do.

Be Blessed.  My prayer is that you will feel the love and faithfulness of a God who wants to show you his abundance just for you.  For your own purpose.

I’m linking up with Works for me Wednesday,  Work in Progress Wednesdays, Wisdom Wednesday, upside down homeschooling,