journey to purple
Died. Passed away. Gone. Gone–like in a not coming back ever sort of way.
when we are open to life–it is beautiful
When my Dad died when I was 7–I didn’t quite get it. My mom announced her engagement and I wondered when my dad was coming back . . . I wonder if I have his laugh or walk like him . . .
It happened when I was pregnant–and then NOT. One minute life–then next moment and it is gone. I still think about my angel babies . . . they would be 12 and 10 . . .
My Mom–I miss her–I miss what could have been . . . should have been.
the bridge is our now–linking the past with our future
For me I mourn what could have been. I wish they could be with me on the journey of life–but if they were here my journey would be different. I get that in my head but my heart still aches.
When I look back on my life I see how it all fits together–one thing leading to another. I made tons of bad choices, have had my share of sorrows and triumphs, created drama AND was the star of my own drama.
Things feel different now. I’m not sure if it is being older and hopefully wiser, being menopausal, or finally slowing down to hear the silence. The voice in side me says “pray about everything and worry about nothing” and I know that it will all work out–because it always had.
I have surrendered. I am becoming transparent. I just am, in this moment, making the best of my now. It is time for me to stop waving my own flags and just feel the breeze. I get it. (Thanks Deb and Melinda!)
My load is light–I no longer worry about who I am, what I should be, what will people think or what will people say–I’ve spent my whole life trying to be “something” and not being me–because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be loved, or honored, or accepted. I was always sassy and doing my own thing and secretly hoping that it would be ok . . . why?
I’m not quite wearing purple with a red hat but I see that in my future!
Where are you in your journey?
my intention is to link up with these blogs . . .
Whatever Wednesday,God Bumps and God-Incidences,Unwrapping His Promises Living Well Wednesday,Women in the Word Wednesday,Works for Me Wednesday,wip-wednesday,
Company Girl Coffee, Friday Favorite Things, Faith Filled Friday, Just for fun Fridays, Consider the Lilies, in courage
I love this ~ “I was always sassy and doing my own thing and secretly hoping that it would be ok . . . why?” Why do we do that? We are exactly the way God made us, yet yearn to be accepted. Realizing later that true acceptance comes from Him. Thank you for sharing and linking up with Wisdom Wednesdays ;) Blessings!
I get that I should only seek approval from Him . . . I do get that but it is so hard for me on somedays. Slowly I’m getting to a point that it doesn’t matter–I’m must praying that my girls “get it” earlier than I have.
Be Blessed.
I went through a series of deaths in my little sphere and I was obsessed with the ‘whys’ thinking that if there was just a good reason… especially with the ones who were young and sudden. I think God has journeyed me through these last few years to a place of contentment with not knowing the whole story and truly grasping that this life is like the thirty-second movie preview and eternity is where the story of Love truly is at.
I love the movie metaphor, I think of it as pages in our own book . . .
Thanks for your insight.
Be Blessed.