I’ll just jump right in–last week I wrote about clothes–but after I posted, I realized it isn’t about the clothes–it is about how I honor myself.
I do not honor myself.
How did I go from cleaning a closet to honor? Well, I realized that the clothes that I kept did not honor who I am now. I want to blame it on my size–but my size is just a symptom of the dishonor. So this is what I did today:
- found a couple of styles in a magazine that I liked–I don’t want to be those women–they were tall and had were small busted–two things I am not! It’s not about height or boobs anyway–it is about what I see when I look at those pictures and what I don’t see in the mirror. I was drawn to the same style over and over. When you find something that works stick with it!
- purged again–this time anything that did not fit that style–I have some cute dresses and skirts that are too foofy for me or I don’t like the color–they went–I kept to the style that I like and that I feel comfortable. I honored my own sense of fashion (although some may argue that I have no fashion).
- stains went and my very favorite maternity top–I have kept it this entire time because I remember how great I felt in it–I don’t feel that way anymore when I tried it on–I put my mind on remembering how I felt–how I felt at that moment (10 years ago) is in my soul not in the shirt! That was so powerful for me.
- my mom’s clothes–again–my mom isn’t in the night gowns–it is in my memory of her. I look a ton like my mom–I even have her bunions! I don’t need her old clothes too. (my mom died 10 years ago this August and I still wish that she was here).
- I put all the clothes that are too small, out of season or I just couldn’t decide on in bins–I will store them in the guest room for the winter and then on March 1, 2013–I will take them to the garage to sort of keep and get rid of. That gives me 5 months of not looking at them, to lose weight and decide if I should keep or pitch.
- I organized my drawers in tank tops, short sleeves and long sleeves. LIBERATING!
- I even went through my undergarments and got rid of the silly spanx and nursing bras–although I find nursing bras to be the most supportive and comfortable . . . it’s time to say good-bye, as for the spanx I just want to be what I am.
My wardrobe now is a bunch of shirts that I wear with sweaters and vests and I have 2 dresses, and 3 pairs of jeans and one pair of black pants. If I can get down just one size I will have my denim skirts to wear–I’m fine with just wearing a few things.
I can honestly say that it feels good to have space that is not cluttered with things that I don’t use or can’t. (did I mention that I cleared out under the bathroom sink–and that feels great too). I have the book One Bite at a Time and when these 31 days are up I think I’m going to get serious about reading it.
- black maternity top, sequin tank, stained top that I love, tank dress and my pink homeschool coop shirt–I never wore it . . . leaving guilt behind.
- a box of trash that came out of my closet and 5 bins of clothes that don’t fit or are out of season.
Today I’m linking up with homemakers, better mom, multitudes on monday, hear it Sunday use it Monday, On in and Around on Mondays, motivating mondays, creating joy.
Wow! You are doing incredible! This is so encouraging.
Not gonna lie (and not just because it is 31 days of honesty) but it did take me a week to look at everything so that when I did decide to go in this am, I made easy choices. It also helped that we had the day “off” from school so the kids loved the idea of unlimited play time in the basement–did you read the post on toys? oh my. The basement project starts Friday am–I’m having a paid helper! It is the only way to get it done! Then the garage. After those spaces hold only things of honor and that are necessary . . . I kept thinking about the Peter Walsh book “does this ??? make my butt look fat?” I can’t remember the title but it was a great book (for work I did on the old house). Be Blessed.
Very inspiring post! I’m anxious to do the same thing with my wardrobe. I’m clearly going to have to backtrack and read your other posts :)
Thank you! My husband walked into the closet and was very worried–thought I had completely lost it–but I assured him that I wanted to cut down on the visual clutter of the clothes that I no longer felt awesome in. So today I woke up and put on a cute, trendy, modest outfit to meet my day. It felt great.
Be blessed.
Go Renee! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I love reading you journey and I miss your unflinching honesty.
Thanks Paula! Of course I love your style I just can’t pull it off. Be Blessed.
Renee- Love the way you linked your closet clearance to honoring yourself…you also discovered emotional ties to your clothes and were honest with why you were keeping them and now honest with why you can let them go…I am getting ready to purge my basement of unread books, paper clutter and decorations that I don’t use anymore…it’s so liberating…I am an empty nester…this spring I cleared out clutter and stuff that I don’t love or even like anymore…sitting today in my guest room that used to be our son’s bedroom…it is a retreat room and is my least cluttered room…I think I’ll move in for the fall and winter months for my writing room. :) In good weather, I like to sit outside…I was feeling blue about moving indoors as the temps get colder…reading your blog and sitting here helped me realize I have options for getting through the cold months!
I’m so glad that my words inspired! I do wonder sometimes between breakfast, lunch, dinner, running the kids here and there . . . will what I write matter . . . we moved and in our “pre move” we had to clear out the house so make it look “nice”–moving is so very traumatic–but I digress–again. My husband I and I purged the house. My wise sister-in-law told me “if you wouldn’t buy it today–either at Target, Goodwill or Macy’s–get rid of it” and I go back to those words VERY often. I also ask myself–how do I want to feel in this space–and how can I get there?
Be Blessed.