Last week I began to write about Gary Chapman’s five Love Languages. My focus this week is on the importance of Gifts, another of the languages. I have the CD and I find it easy to listen to in the car–it is just a bit here and there but I find that it gives me more time to take it all in and then apply it. I process best tiny bits at a time.
I have one daughter that loves to “get things”. It doesn’t really matter what it is but the fact that I’m giving her something is a thrill. The bigger the bow–the better it MUST be. The best thing in the world for her is if I find something that goes will one of her “collections”–it completely validates how she feels about her things. For my daughter it is about the love. I am not a “collector” kind of person and she realizes how hard it is for me to add more stuff–she knows that me giving her a stuffed lizard to “make the family complete” may drive me crazy so she will thank me to the moon and back and promise that they will stay together. She understands that it isn’t “my thing” but I still do it. She understands that I sacrifice my own sense of order so that she will find JOY. She feels loved. (and that is what I’m going for :)
I do work hard to keep the amount of stuff in check. I also do not have a million dollars to spend on all the kids–so I don’t. I don’t need to. To make kids who respond to this love language feel that they matter and are cared for is really pretty simple–it just needs to be a “plan ahead” as I like to call it.
A plan ahead is anything that takes me more than 24 hours to pull off.
These are my top ten “gifts” to give to my kids:
- A note in their lunch box with a chocolate kiss.
- Wrapping a plain ol’ cookie in a nice box with a bow.
- Stopping off for ice cream or getting one of those single serve ones at the grocery store! (always a huge hit)
- Doing one of their chores for them so they can have extra biking time.
- Buy ribbon that is special to just that child–wrap new everyday items with that ribbon–like a toothpaste flavor that they like, or a special retro bottle of Fanta orange (it is so adorable–I bought it for her stocking! she will upcycle it into a zillion things!!!) (and yes, I’m planning ahead for Christmas)
- Make a book for them–a simple 4 page book that tells why they are loved.
- Frame a picture for them
- Start a “red plate” tradition. or any other plate–when I was growing up the person who had the CHIPPED plate was special.
- Recycle–turn and old t-shirt into a pillow or a purse. Be creative.
- The best gift I think I have ever given my daughter was a Pandora bracelet. I add maybe one bead a year. I don’t buy the most expensive beads but ones that are very meaningful to her. I know that she loves this tradition the best.
I have to remember that this won’t be her love language forever but it will probably be the one she feels most validated by. Each kid is so different and with each stage that they pass through requires more “plan aheads” but that is what makes this job so much fun.
Be Blessed. (words of affirmation–that is next week)
On Your Heart Soli Deo Gloria Hip Homeschool Moms Top {Ten} Tuesday What I Learned This Week Titus 2sdays Teach Me Tuesday Domestically Divine Heart and Home Linkup and with Lydia at Mindful Mothering