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Top Ten: Love Language of Gifts

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Last week I  began to write about Gary Chapman’s five Love Languages.  My focus this week is on the importance of Gifts, another of the languages.   I have the CD and I find it easy to listen to in the car–it is just a bit here and there but I find that it gives me more time to take it all in and then apply it.  I process best tiny bits at a time.

I have one daughter that loves to “get things”.  It doesn’t really matter what it is but the fact that I’m giving her something is a thrill.  The bigger the bow–the better it MUST be.  The best thing in the world for her is if I find something that goes will one of her “collections”–it completely validates how she feels about her things.  For my daughter it is about the love.  I am not a “collector” kind of person and she realizes how hard it is for me to add more stuff–she knows that me giving her a stuffed lizard to “make the family complete” may drive me crazy so she will thank me to the moon and back and promise that they will stay together.  She understands that it isn’t “my thing” but I still do it.  She understands that I sacrifice my own sense of order so that she will find JOY.  She feels loved.  (and that is what I’m going for :)

I do work hard to keep the amount of stuff in check.  I also do not have a million dollars to spend on all the kids–so I don’t.  I don’t need to.  To make kids who respond to this love language feel that they matter and are cared for is really pretty simple–it just needs to be a “plan ahead” as I like to call it.

A plan ahead is anything that takes me more than 24 hours to pull off.

  These are my top ten “gifts” to give to my kids:

  1. A note in their lunch box with a chocolate kiss.
  2. Wrapping a plain ol’ cookie in a nice box with a bow.
  3. Stopping off for ice cream or getting one of those single serve ones at the grocery store!  (always a huge hit)
  4. Doing one of their chores for them so they can have extra biking time.
  5. Buy ribbon that is special to just that child–wrap new everyday items with that ribbon–like a toothpaste flavor that they like, or a special retro bottle of Fanta orange (it is so adorable–I bought it for her stocking!  she will upcycle it into a zillion things!!!) (and yes, I’m planning ahead for Christmas)
  6. Make a book for them–a simple 4 page book that tells why they are loved.
  7. Frame a picture for them
  8. Start a “red plate” tradition.  or any other plate–when I was growing up the person who had the CHIPPED plate was special.
  9. Recycle–turn and old t-shirt into a pillow or a purse.  Be creative.
  10. The best gift I think I have ever given my daughter was a Pandora bracelet.  I add maybe one bead a year.  I don’t buy the most expensive beads but ones that are very meaningful to her.   I know that she loves this tradition the best.

I have to remember that this won’t be her love language forever but it will probably be the one she feels most validated by.  Each kid is so different and with each stage that they pass through requires more “plan aheads” but that is what makes this job so much fun.

Be Blessed.  (words of affirmation–that is next week)

On Your Heart Soli Deo Gloria Hip Homeschool Moms Top {Ten} Tuesday What I Learned This Week Titus 2sdays Teach Me Tuesday Domestically Divine Heart and Home Linkup and with Lydia at Mindful Mothering

Top Ten: Love Language of Gifts

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Last week I  began to write about Gary Chapman’s five Love Languages.  My focus this week is on the importance of Gifts, another of the languages.   I have the CD and I find it easy to listen to in the car–it is just a bit here and there but I find that it gives me more time to take it all in and then apply it.  I process best tiny bits at a time.

I have one daughter that loves to “get things”.  It doesn’t really matter what it is but the fact that I’m giving her something is a thrill.  The bigger the bow–the better it MUST be.  The best thing in the world for her is if I find something that goes will one of her “collections”–it completely validates how she feels about her things.  For my daughter it is about the love.  I am not a “collector” kind of person and she realizes how hard it is for me to add more stuff–she knows that me giving her a stuffed lizard to “make the family complete” may drive me crazy so she will thank me to the moon and back and promise that they will stay together.  She understands that it isn’t “my thing” but I still do it.  She understands that I sacrifice my own sense of order so that she will find JOY.  She feels loved.  (and that is what I’m going for :)

I do work hard to keep the amount of stuff in check.  I also do not have a million dollars to spend on all the kids–so I don’t.  I don’t need to.  To make kids who respond to this love language feel that they matter and are cared for is really pretty simple–it just needs to be a “plan ahead” as I like to call it.

A plan ahead is anything that takes me more than 24 hours to pull off.

  These are my top ten “gifts” to give to my kids:

  1. A note in their lunch box with a chocolate kiss.
  2. Wrapping a plain ol’ cookie in a nice box with a bow.
  3. Stopping off for ice cream or getting one of those single serve ones at the grocery store!  (always a huge hit)
  4. Doing one of their chores for them so they can have extra biking time.
  5. Buy ribbon that is special to just that child–wrap new everyday items with that ribbon–like a toothpaste flavor that they like, or a special retro bottle of Fanta orange (it is so adorable–I bought it for her stocking!  she will upcycle it into a zillion things!!!) (and yes, I’m planning ahead for Christmas)
  6. Make a book for them–a simple 4 page book that tells why they are loved.
  7. Frame a picture for them
  8. Start a “red plate” tradition.  or any other plate–when I was growing up the person who had the CHIPPED plate was special.
  9. Recycle–turn and old t-shirt into a pillow or a purse.  Be creative.
  10. The best gift I think I have ever given my daughter was a Pandora bracelet.  I add maybe one bead a year.  I don’t buy the most expensive beads but ones that are very meaningful to her.   I know that she loves this tradition the best.

I have to remember that this won’t be her love language forever but it will probably be the one she feels most validated by.  Each kid is so different and with each stage that they pass through requires more “plan aheads” but that is what makes this job so much fun.

Be Blessed.  (words of affirmation–that is next week)

On Your Heart Soli Deo Gloria Hip Homeschool Moms Top {Ten} Tuesday What I Learned This Week Titus 2sdays Teach Me Tuesday Domestically Divine Heart and Home Linkup and with Lydia at Mindful Mothering

Top Ten: Quality Time

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I was clearing out my husband truck and found the CD set of Gary Chapman–The Five Love Languages for Children (he also has one for marriages).  I remember listening to it a couple of years ago before the CD set too up residence in the truck.  I know my husband listened to it and I was grateful for that.  I think we should probably listen to it again–maybe together this time?

The premise of the book is that we all respond more to a certain Love Languages and they are:

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Words of Affirmation

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

So I wanted to share my top ten ideas of Quality Time.

  1. Building Legos–especially with my youngest who has some fine motor skill issues–he loves it so much when I build him a car.  The simplest thing is huge for him.
  2. Finding time each day to spend one-on-one time with each kid–when I was changing diapers this was easy . . . but now it takes a little more effort.  I’ll help them brush their teeth–alone in the bathroom–in our house just having 1 other person in the bathroom with you is a treat!
  3. I try to find time to walk/ride bikes/play soccer with my big kid–he needs to move so our activities involve movement.  His favorite thing about this summer is when we snuck off to the water park by ourselves–just us and a water slide.
  4. Craft time–the girls are working on cross stitch and I do enjoy helping them and they enjoy getting better at it.
  5. A family concert.  We all sit and listen to each child play.  We clap, they bow and everyone feels good.
  6. Taking just one kid to the grocery store.  or the doctor’s office or the ER.
  7. Having quiet time together.  Just “being” with each other.
  8. Having the kids “teach” me something–like Angry Birds–which I am still horrible at playing.
  9. Reading a book that they choose.  We read a LOT but often it is to accomplish something and not for “fun”.  Even if it is a book I’ve read 1000 times.
  10. My favorite quality time is when I’m at the cabin–I’m in my chair overlooking the lake, with a hot cup of coffee and a little kid gets up and snuggles down in my “nest” and then falls asleep again.  I treasure that quiet moment watching a bigger kid sleep–feeling their heartbeat, listening to them breath.  It takes me back to those middle of the night feedings where the world just stops and it is just me and my baby.

I remember when my daughter was about 2 and I was big as a barn pregnant again . . . I was trying to get her down for a nap and the phone rang–“Momma, momma the phone!” and I told her that she was more important than the phone.  The look on her face was pure joy!  She felt like she was the most important person in the world.

I want my kids to feel that way everyday.  I want to greet them each morning with a smile.  I want them to know how much they matter to me!

Disclaimer:  I am not perfect and I totally lose it on some days (or really any time we need to get in the car).  Each moment we are given another opportunity to show our kids how much we love them.

I’m linking up to these blogs–check them out!

On Your Heart
Soli Deo Gloria
Hip Homeschool Moms
Top {Ten} Tuesday
What I Learned This Week
Titus 2sdays
Teach Me Tuesday
Domestically Divine
Heart and Home Linkup