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Jesus in the noodles!

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I will admit it.  I’m feeling a little stuck.  I’m in a rut.  But I feel ok with that because I also have no idea where I am going!  But I don’t want to feel ok with being stuck.  I’ve been reading Holley Gerth’s book “You’re Made for a God-sized Dream”–just hoping . . .

Holley’s prompt for this week.  For this week: “Sometimes we feel alone not because we need to be with others but because God wants to be with us. Our lives are busy–especially when we’re pursuing a dream–and God may want to pull us aside for a bit” {You’re Made for a God-sized Dream, Chapter Six}. The most important part of any God-sized dream is the Giver of it. Set aside a particular time this week to be with Him–to pray, journal, take a walk or simply sit quietly and listen.

 

 

I have a kid that is on the special side.  He thinks in a way that is different and experiences the world in a very different way than the rest of us.  I am blessed to have his insight on life.

One night he announced that for Lent he was going to eat his dinner each night.  No matter what I gave him!  This was a huge statement coming from my “white food” loving kid!  So I asked him what prompted him to make such a sacrifice . . . “Jesus told me to eat my noodles and all my other food!”

I paused–I mean if Jesus wants to talk to my kid–I guess I’m ok with that–right?

We all had a zillion questions for him since Jesus has never talked to us before!  I asked my son, “when did Jesus talk to you?”

“When you guys were all yelling right before dinner and I was sitting here quietly praying–I heard Jesus talking to me about my noodles.”

I thought–crap!  Jesus comes to my table and I miss it because I’m yelling for people to wash their hands, come to the table, let’s go, dinner’s hot!  The rush before dinner in this house is always a little crazy–getting 6 people in a smallish space while the food is still hot . . . can be tricky.

I expressed my disappointment about missing Jesus.  We were collectively disappointed that we missed it.  Then my son reassured me that “Jesus comes to the table all the time Mom, you just have to wait for breakfast!”

I’ve been trying to figure out my purpose . . . as I plan the budget, make the list, clip the coupons, buy the food, put it away, get it out and make the food, clean the kitchen, make a beautiful table, it all takes on a new meaning knowing that Jesus comes to our table.

As I took a walk this weekend, thinking about my DREAM . . . my mind went back to the story that I just shared.  I think about how when Jesus came back from the tomb–no one recognized him–not even Mary Magdalene–until he spoke her name!  Maybe, just maybe, I’ve been looking but not recognizing that my purpose is right in front of me, speaking my name.  (and part of me wants to make noodles–to listen and wait!)

Be Blessed as we are blessed–but may not even see or hear it.

I’m linking up here!

I lost 218 lbs. + 4

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My weight update:

I lost 218 lbs of stuff to go to good will.

I actually have 2 bags of clothes from the closet project . . . but I didn’t weigh those.  I didn’t include the bags of trash . . .

I let go of a bunch of physical stuff I didn’t need.

When I let go of the physical “treasures” I felt better physically–I have less visual clutter, I can breathe deeper, my mind isn’t thinking about the projects I will never complete.  I feel lighter.

In the midst of all this I lost 4 lbs.  I didn’t count calories, I went walking twice and I became still in my thoughts as I wrote my entries and thought deep thoughts.

As I worked through some things and identified other challenges that I have (and plan to write about), as I tried had to live in the moment–every moment, I realized that life is so incredibly full.

I began a practice of sitting silently during the day–I put it on the schedule to sit–not sit and fold laundry, school the kids or knit (and being in the car did not count)–but to sit and just be.  Sort of like Yoga Sitting–I think about my breathing, my purpose, my kids come in and out giving me hugs . . . I pray for friends, family and souls I will never meet on this earth.

Peace comes from within.  

I knew that–I wrote about it here.   My first ever post on 12/9/2010.  A two year journey.  And now, just now, the concept has moved from my head, to my heart and now lives deep in my soul.

It was always there–I just couldn’t find it–I was so focused on keeping up with the pace of the life I created–because if I’m really busy then I can’t just sit and think and be intentional.  I couldn’t find peace in all of the boxes of my different collections, I couldn’t find peace in a closet full of clothes that took me to the past each day, I couldn’t find it among books I’ll never get to read or magazines filled with recipes, knitting patterns and sewing tutorials that I will never make or use.

I smile a lot more.  I laugh louder–totally embarrassing my kids!  I feel joy.

Maybe in November I’ll be able to exercise more and maybe count a few calories–lose more weight.  My goal is to gain in joy what I lose in pounds!

Be blessed.

14/31 Days of Honest: the break

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Today is Sunday–I take Sunday’s off!  I still cook and do the normal home making tasks–and sometimes I fold laundry and watch TV–I really enjoy Super Soul Sunday on Oprah–but rarely get to watch it . . . Today I could but raking the leaves is a more pressing issue–I also find that raking leaves will give me the forced quiet time I need to focus my thoughts on the basement project—

Last night I worked hard to make a huge pile of tubs where all of my sewing/quilting projects live.  My plan is to sort through in a very intentional way and ask,

  1. will I ever make this
  2. do I need to make it
  3. can I use it after I make it?
  4. will working on this project give me JOY or will I just be crossing a “job” off the list?

I realized last night that not all of the things in the basement do I enjoy doing anymore–what once defined me–say, my catering business . . . I can take everything that I learned when I had the business and apply it to my life now–but I don’t need a 40 cup coffee maker or 15 Quiche pans (I make a very excellent Quiche–my biggest seller with soup–my soups are phenomenal too).  I loved that business–nurturing, loving, serving, being creative with local ingredients AND getting paid to do it.

I need to “let go” of that part of me that once was–to make room for who I am becoming.

. . . but in order to figure that out I need to think it through–I need to be comfortable with the idea of what I am not and what I am becoming . . . I need to say good-bye and move on.

I’ll be raking leaves on this strange, warm, windy, wet morning.  Jesus went to a quiet place to pray and think things through–my front yard is my quiet place this morning.

Be Blessed.