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How to be a Mentor

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Yesterday I wrote about the role of a Titus 2 women and mentoring.

I had a few comments on the blog–and a few more discussions in real life . . . and then I wanted to say more.

Women who are mentors need to be:

  • transparent (are you hiding something?)
  • authentic (true to your soul)
  • genuine (not fake)
  • open and loving (not just when it is easy)
  • admit mistakes (without assigning blame to others)
  • take responsibility for ALL of their actions and their words (not just the good things)
  • be “real” (not head shot perfect of FB photo real)
  • know what grace looks like (UNMERITED help from God–he doesn’t have to give it)
  • be able to “in everything, give thanks” (the verse I live by!)
  • understand the importance of silence and quiet (Jesus had a mountain top–find yours and got there often)
  • seek approval from God only (not your husband, your mother, the media or what your friends are doing)
  • surrender themselves (to give it all up to God–open your hands and hand it all over to Him and amazing things will happen).

I am not all of these things.  I am some.  On good days more than other days.  This is my list now–I’m sure as I grow in my walk with the Lord and my mentors–my list will also grow.

Be Blessed as we enter this time of thanksgiving and then rebirth with the new year.  If being a mentor what you should be doing–God will show you.

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Mommy, Are you a Mentor?

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Yesterday in Mass it was Titus 2 Day!  After all of this time reading all of the blogs that support the premise of Titus 2–it was sort of weird to hear it in church.

To make the words come alive it was read by a young girl.  As I was surrounded by my girls and all the other kids at Mass I was filled with hope and energy for the future–I didn’t see socks lying around, or spilled drinks, or homework not done . . . I saw life brimming over.

After Mass they asked me ONE question, “Mommy are you a mentor?”

GULP!

OUCH!

I paused.  Tried hard to be thoughtful.  Tried double to be mentor-y.  But I just felt like a Mom answering one of the thousand questions of the day . . . and realize that is Mentor Boot Camp!

I think that I am still more mentored–than mentoring.

Some women, I suppose, can be young and mentors BUT I find it hard for someone to tell me about marriage when their dress isn’t even back from the dry cleaners or take parenting advice from a women whose baby is still wet behind the ears.  I understand their enthusiasm and excitement about their new roles–and they will need that on the hard days to come.  (and they will come.–that’s my mentoring)

So I told them that I am what I am and some people ask me questions but I still see more answers.  “Is that why you have so many chit chats?” sighing with dropped shoulders.

Yes, my girls.  I have the chit chat to learn from other women, to connect, to understand, to be in communion with the sisterhood.

Be Blessed as you spend your day listening to your “sisters”.  Allow yourself time to grow into a role of mentoring–God gives out wisdom in drops and grace by the bucketful–catch as much as you can!

Today I’m linking up with Thought provoking Thursday, Thoughtful Thursday, Leaving a legacy, multitudes on mondays

Unlikely Friends=Sisterhood

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This past summer I had an opportunity to spend time with some wonderful women.  Ok, it was more than that–I was invited to be part of a sisterhood.  I wasn’t exactly sure how I would fit in.

true sisterhood

I do not have the best track records with establishing friendships.  I lack confidence.  After several failed attempts–I expect nothing and my expectations are met!  I was really nervous, scared, and really didn’t know what to expect.

What I learned from being part of this wonderful group of women is that we are so similar even though they appear so different.  If I had seen these women in the grocery store or passing by them in the library I would not have EVER put this group of women in the same room.  These women were compassionate, encouraging, inspiring and thier honesty and transparency lifted me to a new place.  They lifted each other up.  I went from feeling scared and inadequate to feeling welcomed and honored.

I want to be like those women–my aspiration is to be as encouraging and inspiring as they were (in my everyday life and this blog)–they exuded peace and joy in a way that I have never experienced.  They embraced each other even though they seemed so different.  I could feel their love.  I felt their wisdom.

When will I be like these women?  So I asked.  The answer that I was given is that I am evolving and I need to be patient and continue to learn and grow.  I need to listen to my soul, I need to dance with my soul, I need to hear my soul sing and hum along.  What awesome advice.

I do believe that I am a kindred spirit with those women.  (I hope they feel the same way).  I think about them often and pray for them–that they may continue to be themselves and encourage others just by being.

So now when I’m in the grocery store or the library I look at women and wonder . . . could they be part of my sisterhood?  I am blessed with an awesome everyday friend–the beginnings of my own sisterhood.  I’m looking forward to this new chapter of my life.  To find peace and joy in just being me–how cool would that be?

What does a sisterhood mean to you?  Is it important to you?  Do you have your own sisterhood?  Has your past friendships helped or hindered your want/need/desire/longing to be part of a sisterhood?

Be Blessed.

Walk With Him Wednesday, Deep Roots At Home

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