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Make Ahead Salad

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Does your day ever spin out of control?

Mine does–I forget to eat . . . even when I get the kids lunch ready . . . I forget to make my own!

Then I remember that I didn’t make lunch, I eat their leftovers which is food that I don’t really enjoy.  I love my salads–especially in the summer time when the local farmers market is bursting with cucumbers and heirloom tomatoes.

I’ve been trying so hard to lose weight–my goal was 70 lbs this year–so far only 10 have come off (big sad face) but I can run 3 miles without feeling like I might die!  I’ve recently had a dietary shift–basically I eat a plant based diet.  Will I eat a hot dog!  I sure will–but it will be an Applegate uncured hotdog!  Will I eat a hamburger at McDonalds–NO!

I’m eating much more mindfully now.  I’ve already started writing about it with this post about GMO’s.

Problem:  Not eating lunch!

Solution:  Make a few days worth of lunches ahead of time.

layered Tex Mex Salad

 

 

 

IMG_3591

 

 

Be Blessed as you take time to nourish your body with the best possible foods available to you!

(Did you notice the box of cereal?  I don’t like cereal as a meal–but these chocolate mini wheats are fun to add into trail mix.  And if you have a kid who takes forever to eat breakfast . . . or has to go to the bathroom RIGHT after you pour the milk–EVERY MORNING!  These are great.)

Meatloaf, in a crockpot?

Top Ten After School Snacks

Top 10 Chicken Dinners

Blogs I link up with!

I lost 218 lbs. + 4

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My weight update:

I lost 218 lbs of stuff to go to good will.

I actually have 2 bags of clothes from the closet project . . . but I didn’t weigh those.  I didn’t include the bags of trash . . .

I let go of a bunch of physical stuff I didn’t need.

When I let go of the physical “treasures” I felt better physically–I have less visual clutter, I can breathe deeper, my mind isn’t thinking about the projects I will never complete.  I feel lighter.

In the midst of all this I lost 4 lbs.  I didn’t count calories, I went walking twice and I became still in my thoughts as I wrote my entries and thought deep thoughts.

As I worked through some things and identified other challenges that I have (and plan to write about), as I tried had to live in the moment–every moment, I realized that life is so incredibly full.

I began a practice of sitting silently during the day–I put it on the schedule to sit–not sit and fold laundry, school the kids or knit (and being in the car did not count)–but to sit and just be.  Sort of like Yoga Sitting–I think about my breathing, my purpose, my kids come in and out giving me hugs . . . I pray for friends, family and souls I will never meet on this earth.

Peace comes from within.  

I knew that–I wrote about it here.   My first ever post on 12/9/2010.  A two year journey.  And now, just now, the concept has moved from my head, to my heart and now lives deep in my soul.

It was always there–I just couldn’t find it–I was so focused on keeping up with the pace of the life I created–because if I’m really busy then I can’t just sit and think and be intentional.  I couldn’t find peace in all of the boxes of my different collections, I couldn’t find peace in a closet full of clothes that took me to the past each day, I couldn’t find it among books I’ll never get to read or magazines filled with recipes, knitting patterns and sewing tutorials that I will never make or use.

I smile a lot more.  I laugh louder–totally embarrassing my kids!  I feel joy.

Maybe in November I’ll be able to exercise more and maybe count a few calories–lose more weight.  My goal is to gain in joy what I lose in pounds!

Be blessed.

let’s be honest–I’m fat

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(When I wrote this post it was NOT my intention that it would be the beginning of a 31 days of honesty series.  The immense response to this post has given me the courage to embrace an entire month of Honesty, Authenticity, and Truth.”)

I think I’m real.  I think I’m honest.  I pride myself on not having an agenda.

But I lied.  and it is bugging me.  So I’ll confess here and then again later.

We moved and I needed to get a new driver’s license.  I put it off because I still struggle with this place being “home”.

So studied for the test, made sure that my hair looked great, packed 3 kids in the van and went to the Secretary of State.  (I won’t mention here that I forgot all the paper work on the counter and had to go back home . . . that would make me seem ditzy and unorganized–of which I am neither.)  When I arrived for the second time, ahem, I went to the various counters and answered the questions–took the test and only missed 1 for a score of 97%–I was feeling very successful until . . .

ma’am, how much do you weigh?

For the record, “none of your business” is not the correct answer!

I lied.  I lied.  I lied.

I gave a number that is 20 lbs less than what I really am.  I feel like a fake.  I feel like a fraud.  I am embarrassed.  I don’t want to be this size.  I feel like I betrayed myself–again.

Why did I lie?  If it causes me so much unhappiness, why did I do it?  If I knew that they were going to ask–maybe, maybe I might have told the truth–maybe not.  I haven’t said the number out loud to anyone.

I’m not sure what I am going to do about the lie.  I thought about going back and telling them that I lied–but then they might think I lied about other things and take my license away or they might just think I’m crazy and take it away.  A lose-lose situation.

So I decided to do this.  I decided to own the fact that I weigh 60 lbs too much!  I’ll be honest about that.  I lied about 20 but the real number is 60!!!  I have decided that now is the time for me to let go of all the heartaches that I have made me seek out food as my friend.  I have real friends now–and I’m not going to eat them!  We don’t eat our friends–we eat food to nourish our bodies not to be a friend.  I’m getting it.  Now is the time in my journey to figure this out.

I have watched enough Oprah episodes and a season or two of biggest loser and read the Roth books . . . I get that it is not about the food for me.

For me it’s about having things taken away from me–it’s a long list–if I thought that the list actually mattered I would make it, but it is not in the list but in the repeated heartbreak of losing.

I think when I finally gave up was when I had my first miscarriage–I was 3 months pregnant, 136 lbs and wearing a bikini with an adorable little bump.  Then not.  The pain and loneliness of the loss of a child was overwhelming.  From that moment to when I had my son I gained over 100 lbs.  Once I held that baby the world seemed “right” again, yet I had a shadow of disappointment and feeling like a failure.

I lost a ton of weight and found out I was pregnant the day after my Mom died.  I lost that baby the week before Thanksgiving . . .thankfully I was so upset I couldn’t eat.  I’m sort of joking here but if I could eat I think I wouldn’t have ever stopped.

I remember feeling empty, failed, hurting so deep inside at a place I didn’t know was even there. The doctors told me I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant again.  I stopped living and caring.  I did not feel alive.  I felt dead.  I lost ALL hope.  I poured myself into my only child.

Well, the happy ending is that I did get pregnant again, and again, and again.  I have 4 beautiful children and with each one I put on 20 lbs that never came off!

Now I am ready to be honest with myself.  I am ready to own my size.  I am ready to change.

My intention is to post on the 1st of each month–except probably January–I take holidays off–I won’t post my weight (well I might but for now . . . NOT) but I will post a photo and tell you what I’m doing to get there.  I know that I can do this.

linking up with Fellowship Fridays

I don’t really want to do this alone . . . if you want to join along . . . leave a note in the comments or email me at joyfulmombaudeatgmaildotcom . . .  we can do this together . . . or if you have done this before–can you cheer me on?

(oh, yeah–I’m scared out of my wits to push the publish button on this post–praying for . . . what should I pray for grace, understanding, fortitude???)

Be Blessed–not matter what size you are!

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