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How to be a Mentor

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Yesterday I wrote about the role of a Titus 2 women and mentoring.

I had a few comments on the blog–and a few more discussions in real life . . . and then I wanted to say more.

Women who are mentors need to be:

  • transparent (are you hiding something?)
  • authentic (true to your soul)
  • genuine (not fake)
  • open and loving (not just when it is easy)
  • admit mistakes (without assigning blame to others)
  • take responsibility for ALL of their actions and their words (not just the good things)
  • be “real” (not head shot perfect of FB photo real)
  • know what grace looks like (UNMERITED help from God–he doesn’t have to give it)
  • be able to “in everything, give thanks” (the verse I live by!)
  • understand the importance of silence and quiet (Jesus had a mountain top–find yours and got there often)
  • seek approval from God only (not your husband, your mother, the media or what your friends are doing)
  • surrender themselves (to give it all up to God–open your hands and hand it all over to Him and amazing things will happen).

I am not all of these things.  I am some.  On good days more than other days.  This is my list now–I’m sure as I grow in my walk with the Lord and my mentors–my list will also grow.

Be Blessed as we enter this time of thanksgiving and then rebirth with the new year.  If being a mentor what you should be doing–God will show you.

Faith Filled Fridays, womanhood with purpose, friday favorite things,  The Better Mom,  Playdates with God, Motivation Monday, Mindful Mothering, tuesday tips,  into the beautiful, titus tuesdays, on your heart

I am a Writer.

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I’m a writer.  That is was SHOULD have come out of my mouth when the women behind the counter at the doctors’ office asked “what do you do?”.

The question “what do you do?” caught me completely off guard.  My mind had a Secret Life of Walter Mitty, by James Thruber–moment.

Did she mean:

  • what were the 500 things I had to do that morning in order to get everyone out the door at 7:30 am–armed with backpacks, lunches, car schooling supplies, notes for one kid to take the bus home with another kid, making sure I had my previous medical records, the iPad, packing the basketball uniform in the backpack because that kid isn’t coming home before the game, getting dinner in the crock pot . . .
  • did she mean what am I planning on doing?
  • did she mean what do I do on an average day?  (no such thing)
  • the mental list went on and on about what I “do”.

Finally, after several moments of quiet, she asked me again–“what is your job?”, and again my mind couldn’t come up with one word.

Again, several moments went by, she asked “do you stay home” and that really sent me into a mind spin because–no, I’m rarely home.  I’m on the road A LOT or I’m getting everyone ready to be on the road.

I should have just said that I’m a writer.  That would have made her happy–but then she would have asked me “what do your write about?”.

I write about people like you–I would explain.  Then go back into the secret life inside my own mind–where I am free to be and I’m not labeled with just one word.

I’ve written a lot about finding my purpose, my journey, and where I want to go . . . but first I want to experience each moment to the fullest and find joy–

that is what I want to do–then write about it.

After I finished writing this . . . I had a nagging feeling.  It wasn’t what I wanted it to say.  Yes, I’ve very excited to go back and reread and redo the chapter of my life about writing. Writing all those years for other people and now I write for me and you.

But it isn’t really about being a writer–it is about writing about the being.  

Writing is how I share the excitement in my everyday boring/not always exciting, life is hard, different each day, not what I planned, routine–how can it be routine yet unplanned?  That’s what I can’t explain–I start out each day with a plan–and life happens!  The items on the list may not get checked off but “real life” is about the things that AREN’T on the list.

So the next time someones asks about what I do–I will say– “I write about being.”, (thinking of adding a “DUDE” so they have a better sense of the free to be vibe . . . even if I said all of that.  Some people still won’t get it.  (I’m ok with that–now at this season in my life.)

Be Blessed.

I’m linking up to  The Better Mom, Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday, Playdates with God, Motivation Monday, Mindful Mothering, monday musings,

25/31 days of being honest: loss

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How do you feel when something is taken from you?

Tragically taken,

a husband,

a mother,

a father

a sister,

a brother,

your child.

My husband I and met later in life.  My husband and I wanted to have a boatload of kids.  That didn’t happen.  We have four beautiful kids and two angel babies.  I’m still not sure I’m ok with that–you see because it wasn’t our choice to stop having babies.

My husband and I met later in life–we joked about the our “time left” to have kids.  I had no idea that my body would stop working.

If it were my choice not to have anymore babies–I would feel more content or at peace.  But when God says that I can’t have anymore babies–even though I know in my head it is part of his wonderful plan for my life . . . I still cry “not fair”.  In all fairness to God I did pray for him to send me a sign–let’s just say the last labor and delivery were EPIC and I would not “order” that again.  The boxes I checked for my 4th kid were supposed to be; quick, easy, pain-free, and the words “just popped out”  part of the birth story.  None of that happened.  That must have been my sign from God.

Let’s be honest–it is hard and makes us mad as a 4-year-old when we have things taken away–“for no apparent reason” as my little guy says!  It is hard to handle loss and make sense of it.

 So after a few years now, I have found that if I embrace what God has put before me, if I concentrate on the life I have at this moment, if I look beyond the loss–I can find great things waiting for me.

Be Blessed as you work through your own struggles or help out a sister who needs it.